Birthdays & Other Get Togethers

In three short weeks, A is going to be seven years old. Seven! It seems like only yesterday that I was marveling at the way he'd curl up his toes anytime we'd touch the soles of his feet, or grab onto our fingers or a toy if they were within reach. Now, he'll be entering 1st grade at the end of August, and his favorite things are Star Wars and acting class.

Birthdays used to be challenging, at least with finding a cake recipe that was safe yet delicious. I've always made A's cakes specific to whatever theme he wanted that year, whether it be Blue's Clues, Elmo, The Wiggles or Mickey Mouse. This year, it's all about Star Wars (see: his favorite things). So, I've decided that the easiest character to make from the menagerie is R2D2. But one thing was certain: I did NOT want to make it 3D. I consider myself to be relatively creative when making his cakes, but the only 3D cake I did was when I made the Big Red Car for his Wiggles-themed party, and that was made with a cake pan shaped like a car (cheating, maybe. But it saved my sanity).

Anyway, luckily with A's allergies to egg whites being on the lower end of the spectrum, we are allowed baked egg in recipes like cakes and cookies. Just today I made a batch of mint chocolate chip cookies (using Eillien's mint-flavored chips). For his birthday, I will probably buy cake mixes from Duncan Hines, a brand that I know has cake mixes that contain only wheat. The frosting they make contains soy, which is also safe.

Whenever we go to a function (the cookies are for a graduation BBQ), I always bring a safe treat for A -- enough to share with everyone, but one that I know he can safely enjoy. I do it regardless if we are asked to bring something or not. Who's going to turn down a dessert? Desserts are often the hardest for us when we're someplace like a birthday party or a BBQ and everything is dairy and egg-laden. If A is invited to a friends' party, I almost always send along a treat for him to have in place of the birthday cake.

He knows by now that his treat will most likely be something brought from home, and nine times out of ten, he's okay with that. That small percentage when he's not? Here's a story to illustrate:

He attended Vacation Bible School at the end of June at his school. On the last day, they had a scavenger hunt, where the prize at the end was a goodie bag. Prior to this day, a volunteer pulled me aside and let me know that because they wanted to make sure A was completely safe, they didn't include candy in his bag and instead put some other fun things in there like a bubble wand and tattoos. I told her that was great and that A would be okay with that.

Well, I was wrong.

He climbed into the car that morning and proclaimed "It's not fair! Why does everyone else get candy and I don't?" I tried to reassure him that the teachers wanted to make sure he was safe, and he replied "But they got sour patch kids. I can have those!" After much explaining and cajoling, he was okay.

I know A is going to be in these situations for as long as he still has his allergies (I'm still remaining optimistic that they will someday go away) and hopefully as he grows older, he'll fully understand that sometimes he just doesn't get what he wants (as with other things, like going shopping and not getting every toy on the shelf!).

At least we can be comfortable knowing that during our busy summer, A will be able to enjoy safe treats when we're at various get togethers and birthday parties.

Disney World 2010

In August 2010, we took our son to Disneyworld. We had heard great things about how accommodating they are with food allergies, and with my husband and I being big fans of the World anyway, we knew that taking a trip here would be a no-brainer. It was so relaxing to know that any restaurant we walked into were knowledgeable about food allergies and would either (1) already have something allergy-friendly on the menu, or (2) offer something from the kitchen that was. Some were more knowledgeable and accommodating than others, but overall our experience was a super positive one. Here were some of our experiences with different restaurants within the Disney parks:

1. Chef Mickey's: Contemporary Resort: Chef Bob came out and took us around the buffet to let us know what our son could and could not eat. He also gave us some options that we could request from the kitchen if we needed a different type of food. The buffet was really good – BBQ chicken and ribs, salmon, roasted turkey, cheese pasta, salad, cheese, bread, potatoes, mac and cheese, chicken tenders, pizza, and fruit. They also had a dessert bar with cheesecake, lemon cake, brownies, and ice cream. For our celebrations (our son's birthday and our anniversary), our waitress – Amy, who was awesome – brought out cupcakes with a candle for us. Our son even got a special one that was safe for him. Then, because he was still hungry, the Chef brought out some Tofutti ice cream for him as well.

2. Tokyo Dining: EPCOT World Showcase: Here, our son got the teriyaki chicken, sans the teriyaki (since it contains whey and he doesn’t really like it anyway), rice, carrots/green beans and a fruit cup. The only option for dessert were some oranges (which he doesn’t like either).

3. Sunshine Seasons: EPCOT Future World: Originally our first choice for dinner, however, nothing catches our eye, and nothing is safe for our son to eat except the chicken, and he doesn’t want it. So we ate at the Electric Umbrella instead, where our son was able to have a burger, fries and grapes.

4. The Tusker House: Animal Kingdom: Chef Francisco did an excellent job of telling us what foods were safe for our son – he went through the whole buffet with us, and then decided to make a HUGE plate of food for him in the back that was completely safe. He had chicken drumsticks, couscous, rice, green beans, corn, orzo pasta, sirloin, a huge pickle spear and some potato wedges. Of course he didn’t eat all of it, but he made a pretty good dent in the pile of food. Overall, there were all sorts of delicious things to eat at the buffet – breads, cold salads, multiple kinds of couscous, fried plantains, pork, beef, curry chicken, jasmine rice, samosas, etc. The dessert selection was great as well. There were coconut macaroons, lemon bars, pecan bars, carrot cake, bread pudding, strawberry mousse, etc. For our son for dessert, they brought out Enjoy Life chocolate chip cookies and a strawberry frozen fruit bar.

5. End Zone Food Court: All-Star Sports Resort: It’s your typical fare of food – nothing too spectacular. Our son was very hungry, and we didn’t want to wait for a manager to come out since it was very busy, so we went with what we knew he could have: hot dog, fries, applesauce and a Silk Vanilla soy milk. The cashier says that the soy milk isn’t a drink option on the dining plan, and Daddy tells her that Alex is allergic to regular milk. So she calls a manager over to see if we can do that – he says, “Well, we’re not supposed to, but we can do it just this once. This type of milk is very expensive.”

6. Sunshine Seasons: EPCOT Future World: I talked to the chef to make sure that our son can have the chicken drumstick and rice, and we’re good to go.

7. Biergarten: EPCOT, World Showcase: Chef Jeff came out to walk us through the buffet – overall, he seemed pretty disinterested, and went through the buffet fairly quickly. He didn’t offer to make anything special for our son, so I had to ask if he could make some plain salmon in the back for him. He brought out a ginormous piece for him, and he ate the whole thing! He also had some sausage, watermelon, grapes and fruit compote for dessert.

8. 50’s Prime Time Café: Disney’s Hollywood Studios: Our son ended up having salmon, green beans and fruit salad after talking to the not-so-enthusiastic chef about what he could eat. He ate most of it, and then got a safe brownie for dessert. They also brought out a not safe cupcake for him since he had on his birthday pin. He got a bit upset that he couldn’t eat the cupcake, but he had had a lot to eat already and didn’t need another dessert.

9. End Zone Food Court: All-Star Sports Resort (Breakfast): The Chef (whose name escapes us), made our son four small Mickey waffles that are safe for him. He also has strawberries and a huge sausage. He also gets two drinks – an apple and an orange juice – and doesn’t like the orange juice (weird, because he drinks it at home).

10. Liberty Tree Tavern: Magic Kingdom: The food is Thanksgiving-style, and brought out in large portions to share – there was turkey, ham with glaze, beef, stuffing, potatoes and gravy, macaroni and cheese, green beans, bread and apple crisp with ice cream for dessert. Chef Kawa was nice, and made our son a plate with turkey, ham, beef, mashed potatoes, safe gravy (his first time EVER having it, and he loved it!) and green beans. He also brought out a raspberry sorbet with fresh fruit for his dessert that he loved! He ate a TON, and the staff even came out and sang Happy Birthday to him. The table was also decorated with Mickey confetti, so that was cute and a nice touch. While the boys made a bathroom stop, the waiter came and asked how we were doing with our son’s allergies. I told him we didn’t know what to expect the first time we took him to Disney in 2008, but that they’ve exceeded our expectations, and we love how accommodating all the restaurants are on property. He said that they get so many people with food allergies all the time, and they take them very seriously. He was glad that we were having such a positive experience.

11. Wolfgang Puck’s: Downtown Disney: Our waiter, Buc, used to be a chef for 10 years, so he’s really knowledgeable about food allergies and the ingredients used. He was absolutely outstanding and super intuitive to our son’s needs – Buc could see he was cranky and hungry, so he offered to bring out a bowl of carrots for him to munch on while our food was being cooked. Our son had spaghetti and smiley fries, and for dessert some Mango sorbet that he really didn’t care for, but it was okay because he was full from his dinner. We would DEFINITELY eat at Wolfgang Puck’s again.

12. Kona Café: Polynesian Resort: Our waitress is Lori, and although she’s friendly, she’s very slow. The Chef was pretty disinterested too – we told him what our son wanted, and he just wrote it down. He didn’t offer any suggestions, but did let us swap the macaroni that came with the chicken for the rice (that usually comes with the fish). He also had green beans and carrots and a fruit salad with his meal. For dessert, he had a build your own sundae with soy ice cream, and he also got some cotton candy with it, which he was super excited about.

Overall, we had a really good experience with Disney, and I would definitely recommend this vacation spot as a place that is very allergy-friendly. Our favorite food place on this trip was Wolfgang Puck’s in Downtown Disney for the outstanding service that Buc gave – very knowledgeable and intuitive to a child’s needs. Second place goes to The Tusker House in Animal Kingdom for making sure our son was VERY well-fed with a variety of foods.

An Introduction to My Inspiration

When I was pregnant with my son, the usual questions flooded my thoughts: Will he be healthy? What will he look like? Will he inherit my blonde hair, or my husband's dark brown hair? Will he have green or blue eyes? Will he be creative or intellectual? No matter what, I was going to love this little person with every fiber of my being.

During your pregnancy, ultrasounds make sure the little one growing inside of you has all of his/her fingers, toes and other necessary body parts (if you are so inclined to find out). But, to be diagnosed with food allergies comes later. There isn't a test that lets you know so you can prepare beforehand.

Finding out your child has a food allergy is like the world's worst surprise. You think that you're doing the best you can by giving your son healthy food options: whole milk (vitamins and fat he needs to grow); eggs (protein); cheese (calcium). But after eating these foods, he gets irritable: complaints of a tummy ache, complete with tears and folding his chubby little legs to his belly to try and alleviate the pain. Then, his eczema flairs up (originally thought due to to his sensitive skin. We would later find out that food allergies and eczema often go hand-in-hand). He gets red and itchy. His eyes are watery. His lip puffs up so much that he looks like he has a duck's beak (funny to picture now, six years later. Not so funny as it's happening and you don't know why).

Food allergies never crossed my mind until his pediatrician brought it up and recommended us to an allergist. The tests were worse than the shots at a well-child visit. This was like getting poked by multiple needles all at once. This test involves placing drops of the supposed offending foods on the tip of a needle. Also included is histamine as a control spot (this will definitely flare up) and a drop of water as a placebo. The foods we tested for at first were milk, egg white, egg yolk (different proteins -- some are allergic to both, some to one -- and if only one, it's usually the yolk). All of these are placed on the tips of needles that are attached to a square plastic piece. It's then pushed gently onto the patient's back for a couple seconds, then released. After that, the waiting game begins in office to see if hives appear (a definite sign the body is rejecting the food).

If there has to be a "worst" part of being a parent, it's watching your child suffer. Knowing that you have to be the one to hold him tightly against your chest as an unfamiliar nurse pushes five needles simultaneously into the skin of his bare back (made cold as it is by the temperature in the doctor's office) is heart-wrenching. Cries and screams of protest still ring accusingly in my ears as I recall those visits.

On my son's back, hives appeared almost instantaneously (even the water placebo made a small red mark -- that's how sensitive his skin was). Immediately, he attempted to reach the middle of his back with his little toddler arms. You know how hard it is to reach that one spot on your back when you have an itch? Magnify that by 10 and times it by not being able to vocalize your discomfort.
The verdict was clear: my son had food allergies. We were to avoid egg and dairy completely. Soy milk was recommended (which can be expensive, but he took to it pretty quickly). I discovered the KFA Network, an online community of parents with kids who suffer from food allergies. There, I found a wealth of information, including dairy and egg free recipes that were lifesavers, especially for my trepidation on what I was going to do for subsequent birthdays (wacky cake became my go-to cake recipe).

Over the years, we would discover that not only was our son allergic to dairy and egg, but that his body rejected peanut and shellfish too. We discovered his peanut allergy at 5 years old when we were given the OK to try a peanut butter sandwich and he got watery, itchy eyes. Another test confirmed that to be positive. We did shellfish along with it for curiosity's sake and that was positive too. Amazingly, he is totally fine with tree nuts (many kids who are allergic to either peanut or tree nut are allergic to both).

We've done both skin tests and RAST blood tests (which give us a number on which to base the severity of his allergies). All of his allergies are on the mild side, and his allergist is confident he will outgrow at least the dairy and egg before he turns 10. In fact, a couple years ago, after unknowingly ingesting a baked good that contained egg, it was discovered that the breakdown of the egg when it is baked in an oven at a higher temperature is okay for him. We also discovered that he is not allergic to egg yolk, only the whites (remember earlier when I said that "it's usually the yolk" that most kids end up being allergic to if it's either the white or the yolk? Of course my son would be the one to break that trend).

While the past almost seven years have been full of trial and error, yearly allergist visits, one call to 911 (he ingested string cheese and became very listless and lethargic and nearly scared me to death when he was about 3 years old) and occasional doses of Benadryl (mild hives are usually the extent of any accidental contact, aside from the scary "string cheese incident"), I can honestly say that I'd be okay if he ended up having his allergies for life.

We've learned how to be more conscientious at the grocery store. We're masters at reading food labels, checking and re-checking ingredients and trying to find safe yet healthy foods for our son to enjoy. We have become braver and more outspoken in our attempts to allow our family to go out for meals at restaurants that are filled with cringe-worthy food options like macaroni and cheese, pizza and grilled cheese sandwiches (I'd like to believe that the kids of today's society have a more sophisticated palate than that, but I digress and save that rant for another blog post).

Our son probably eats a wider variety of foods than most kids (and even some adults!). He loves salmon (any kind of fish, really), lima beans, salad (he eats romaine lettuce straight out of the bag), cherry tomatoes, blueberries, cucumber, jicama, pomegranate-flavored anything and sunflower nut butter. 

He is also a voracious reader, is very outgoing, loves Star Wars, Weird Al, Disney World and The Wiggles and wants to be a construction worker, a pilot, a Disney Imagineer and a movie director when he grows up. His best friend is an 8 year old girl who is more tomboyish than he is, and says he will marry her someday. He loves computer games and the Wii and gets upset if he doesn't get to read a story before bed. He is just like any other 7 year old boy, and his food allergies do not define him. They are just another part of who he is.